“Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!”
~The Red Queen
I’m shocked. Appalled, really. And I’m sure you’ll all agree that I’m anything but paranoid.
Time is seriously going faster than it used to.
Right? Because no way has it been a year already since I wrote my last New Year’s post, right??? Jiminy Christmas, I’m getting old.
I thought I’d read through that year-old post…see if I’d kept my promises to myself. I think the truth is that if I’m any further along, it can be measured like a few of the centimeters that comprise a marathon, but I don’t think I’ve moved back…so that’s good. Oh, and I totally agree with year-younger-me…although I’m not sure I’m feeling quite so elevated spiritually this year. Still, maybe that’s not true. I’m not sure trying to measure the immeasurable is a recommendable place to start on one’s journey to mental and emotional peace.
Anyway (I’m steadily working my way toward the point of this post, I promise), there are some noteworthy changes to my overall circumstances, and therefore to how I’m thinking about the upcoming year. Allow me another tangent. There’s this thing about finding a state of “being” that’s made a whole lot easier when one is in constant motion, and one’s attention is mandatory. So take jogging, for example. We sometimes jog on a dirt path near Chris’ parents’ place. The path is smooth, and we take it often, so there’s not a lot of attention needed, and my mind wanders and I think a lot of thoughts. But a few weeks ago we went running in a little forest area a bit further outside town. The path was rocky and many parts were covered in leaves. Because I had to pay attention to every step, I soon found myself in the zone, focused, alert, and with a gloriously clear head. Our life at this time last year was so much like the latter path, and that made it a lot easier to be present. Now that we’re here, in Le Puy, and we know we’ll be here at least for a while, and we’re starting to lay some real bricks (if not planting roots) in the foundation of our really-for-real future, I wonder if it makes us less in-the-now.
And I guess that’s the challenge, really. I want to have my cake and eat it too…I want to find presence and stability, spontaneity and rhythm. So last year I did away with the New Year’s Resolutions and by and large it worked out swimmingly, I think. And while I’m keeping that tradition, I’m hearing the Red Queen loud and clear and then some…this year I’ve somehow got to figure out how to run twice as fast as I can. Is it possible to manage that feat whilst seeking presence? Only time will tell.